You Don't Have a Well-being Problem
CEOs often hire me to improve well-being. But what I actually do is improve how leaders and teams work together.
When employee engagement scores fall or people start leaving, organizations often conclude they have a well-being problem.
But after two decades working with leadership teams across industries, I’ve found something important:
Well-being and engagement are rarely the problem. They are usually the symptoms of something else entirely. Something most leaders aren't trained to see.
The leaders I work with are smart, capable, and experienced. Many have advanced degrees. Many of them are great people just trying to do their best.
On their own, they are top performers.
When leading a team, they may struggle in the following ways...
So well-meaning leaders respond the only way they know how.
They introduce well-being initiatives.
Resilience training.
Mindfulness at work.
Even birthday cakes.
None of these things are inherently bad. But they are treating the symptoms, not the cause.
Because the stress people are experiencing is not just about workload. It is often the result of working in an environment where relationships and expectations, are unclear.
What Leaders Think They Need
When CEOs first reach out, they often assume I will help their team be nicer to each other. Or run workshops on psychological safety. Or fix their decision-making process.
Those things are certainly things I do.
But they are not the heart of it.
I help them see the dynamics that get in the way of high performance and how they can get out of their own way.
In other words,
I help leaders understand how their team actually functions.
That's why I sometimes describe my work as being like a functional medicine doctor for workplaces.
If you go to the doctor with a rash, you might get a cream to treat it.
It helps for a while.
But a functional medicine doctor asks a different question:
"What's causing the rash?"
Maybe it's an allergic reaction, maybe it's something systemic.
Until you understand the root cause, the symptom will return.
That's the work I do with teams.
I spend a lot of time listening. I listen to leaders. I listen to their teams.
And then I listen again.
People often tell me things they would never say to their own leaders. Not because the leader is bad, but because they are ‘the boss.’
And research consistently shows that people are careful about what they share with ‘the boss.’
This kind of unfiltered honesty is incredibly valuable. Because it reveals the dynamics that are actually shaping performance.
The Limits of Engagement Surveys
At this point, many leaders say: “We already listen. We run an annual engagement survey.”
And yes, engagement surveys can be useful, but they are often mistaken for real listening.
They give leaders scores.
But scores rarely explain what is actually happening inside a team.
People are also cautious in surveys. They soften criticism or choose neutral responses if they don’t know who may be reading their responses.
And even when the data is accurate, it lacks context.
If leaders truly want to understand their organization, they need more than an annual survey.
They need to understand the underlying dynamics shaping how their leadership team works together:
Does everyone feel their expertise is valued?
Do certain voices dominate the conversation?
Are people quietly questioning decisions but never saying so?
Is it difficult to challenge each other?
Is decision authority actually clear?
These dynamics rarely show up in a survey score.
But they absolutely shape the performance of the team and how well they can execute.
And many leaders assume that if people are polite and professional, the relationships are working.
But politeness is not the same as trust. Because people fall into the 'nice' trap.
The “Nice” Trap
Often teams don't raise concerns, don't challenge each other openly, and don't address tension directly, because they are trying to be nice. But that doesn't mean the tensions magically go away. They show up in other ways.
They show up in slower execution, side conversations, and misalignment.
Therefore part of my work is helping leaders have the conversations they’ve been avoiding. And I do that by giving them the tools they need to make those conversations more comfortable.
So leaders don't feel that they are confronting, but rather approaching the conversation in a way that strengthens the relationship.
When leaders learn how to address tension directly and respectfully, something powerful happens: Trust grows.
And once trust grows, collaboration becomes much easier.
Why Listening is Important
If leaders want to understand what is really happening, they need to move beyond surveys.
The leaders I work with:
Hold small group conversations where employees can speak openly
Conduct regular check-ins focused on how work is actually unfolding
Run retrospectives to reflect on what worked and what didn’t
Ask thoughtful questions in everyday interactions
Questions like:
What’s getting in your way right now? What’s one thing we could improve about how we’re working together? What would help you be more effective?
These conversations generate something surveys cannot: Stories.
Stories about what is actually happening. Stories about where systems are breaking down. Stories about where progress is possible.
But Here’s the Listening Step Most Leaders Miss...
They listen, but they don’t follow up. They don’t circle back and explain what action was taken.
And this matters. A LOT.
Because employees don’t just want to be heard. They want to know their input made a difference.
Even if nothing can be changed, they want to know someone tried.
When employees don’t hear back from you, why would they take the risk to speak up in the future?
Of course, listening only works if people feel safe enough to be honest.
This is where psychological safety matters.
Teams with high psychological safety speak up earlier, challenge ideas, and surface problems before they escalate.
But psychological safety is not created by a program, it is created in daily interactions.
Employees are constantly watching:
Do leaders become defensive?
Do they dismiss concerns?
Do they punish honesty?
Or do they lean in with curiosity?
When leaders consistently respond with openness, people begin to believe that speaking up is safe AND worthwhile. So they speak up all the time.
And voila, your true team dynamic is no longer a mystery.
What Changes When Leaders Understand the Team Dynamic
Meetings become more focused. Decisions become clearer. Execution moves at lightning speed.
But something else changes too, well-being improves.
Leaders feel more supported, less isolated and more aligned. And that cohesiveness can be felt throughout the organization.
Because...
When the leadership team works well together, everything else becomes easier to lead.
So when CEOs call and ask for help with well-being, engagement, or culture, I understand what they mean.
They want people to feel energized. They want teams to work well together. They want high performing teams.
But the way we get there is not through more well-being programs.
It is through better team dynamics.
In other words...
If this has you thinking differently about your own team, you’re asking the right questions.
And that’s often the first step.
If you’d like support in understanding what’s really happening beneath the surface and tools that can help you clear the way for higher performance on your teams, I'm happy to help.